New Year's Resolution (yes, it's cliche!)

So, this is my New Year's Recolution for 2009. Yes, it's cliche, but this is something that I HAVE to do for my health and happiness.
I start every new year off with the same goal- lose weight! Every January 1 my veins pump pure adrenaline straight to my heart making it thump for joy at the pure thought of a size 8. "I'm going to do it this time! I'm finally going to be that single digit size I've been wanting for years!" I buy new shoes, new workout gear, plan out my food diary for the next 2 weeks and rev up the treadmill. Two weeks later I'm over it. I'm tired. I'm not physically tired, but mentally worn out. I MAY have lost 2-3 pounds, or I may have stayed where I was on New Year's Day. Who knows? All I know is that I can still see my fat and my jeans aren't any looser than they were 2 weeks prior. I'm ticked off now! I give up. Plain and simple, I just give up.
This has happened to me for the past couple years. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes (insulin dependent) in March 2006. I knew all the bad stuff involved with giving myself shots daily (I'm on the pump now), but no one ever tells you the weight you gain from those daily doses of injections. It's like 20 cc's of pure FAT going into your body to be stored for what seems like eternity. Insulin saved my life and got me fat all at once. I've never had to work so hard in my life for anything as I do to lose weight. I thought a size 12 was fat! HA!!! Try 2 up from that! I've never been so big or unhappy in all my life as I am now. I can't keep blaming health problems or lack of motivation on my weight gain. It's my fault. Pure and simple, MY fault! I did this to myself and I'm the only one that can change it. I have to do it or I will be terribly miserable for the rest of my fat life! So, here's to the New Year. A new year, a new me. Hopefully by my 30th birthday (August 24, 2009) I will have lost at least 50 pounds. Yes, that's a lot, but I can do it. I've been thin before so I know I can do it again. I just have to push harder and run faster than I ever have before! I can do this!
My plan for this next week is cardio at least 5 days, strenght training for at least 2 days mixed with 3 workout videos. I'll do 20 min. of cardio this week, 25 the next, 30 after that and so on. My goal for cardio is 60 min. per day for 5 days. I can split the minutes up throughout the day. I have a gym membership and a home gym at my house. There is nothing that should stop me, but me. So, here goes to the new me of 2009!!!